comedy sms

Funny SMS

A cow was shown during VIVA-VOCE, replies are as under:
Pre-MBBS student: It`s a cow! MD: This may be a cow or a hypo-pigmented buffalo!
DH: This may be a hyper-trophied goat or atrophied elephant with cogenital anomalies.
Moral: Medical education makes a normal person mad.

How True.. .A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min, a beer shortens your life by 4 minutes, a working day shortens your life by 8 hours!

Well, they do say opposites attract... So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured. Gud Day!

Two frinds,who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.
1st: Who are u working 4 now?
2nd: Same people, My wife & 4 children.

A women's prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death!

Dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment: Lock your dog and your girlfriend in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?

Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.

A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!

Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

Telling a Lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and a matter of survival for a married man.

New Examination Patttern in India (Revised):
General Students: Answer All questions
OBC: Write Any One question
SC: Only read questions
ST: Thanks for coming.
Cheers to Reservation

It's wrong that Alcohol makes u fat... It doesn't! It actually makes u LEAN... against bars, poles, walls, friends & strangers! Cheers!

How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!

When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear because love is BLIND!

It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.

Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. It's not because you are cute but bcoz my mom told me that devils have tails and I'm just wondering where's 

Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?

A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad!

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

Why are Egyptian Children always confused?
Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.

Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.

Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ?
"Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!

At a party, someone yelled: All married guys plz stand next to one person who has made ur life worth living.
The bartender was almost crushed to death.

Q: What time is it when most people go to the dentist?
A: Tooth-Hurty!

Height of Marwari Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano Car.......preferably with Gas Kit!!!